Isn't life loverly?

Yes, it's a rhetorical question ... sort of like "To be or not to be."


Big Daddy comes home from work yesterday with some distressing news. His company has said for some time they are going to have to consolidate crews until some more jobs come up. They are currently working on the Marsha Sharp Freeway project that runs east 'n west across town. It is in four phases, and they are winding up phase three. Phase four does not bid until June, so until then they have to do what they can to keep people working. We understand all that. But it was also said that this consolidation wouldn't affect your money. It did — in a big way. When a person is guaranteed to receive pay for 70 hours and is driving a company truck with a gas card, and you lose both the truck and the guarantee, then your paycheck is cut in about half.

Of course, he's stressing over it — both the loss of income and the way they presented it to him. There was no discussion, just 'this is it, take it or find something else.' He wasn't given the option of a rebuttal of any kind. AND on top of that, they wanted an answer right then and there. He told them they couldn't spend two days or more talking about what they were going to do, then expect him to answer without giving it some thought. We talked about it and discussed several options — (1) looking for another place to work [there are several options for him, but only a couple locally]; (2) refusing the offer and let them lay him off or let him go, then opting to file for unemployment ; (3) biting his tongue and hanging in there just to keep a job.

He called the EEOC officer and talked with him about it. He was able to get some things off his chest that they didn't allow him to in the meeting. That alone helped a great deal. He also addressed the issue that the meeting was supposed to be confidential, yet details were being told by someone and he felt that was unethical. Also, comments made within the morning meeting could also be creating a hostile work environment for him. The officer did say he would certainly address those issues with the Project Manager. He also suggested that now the emotion of the situation had leveled out, he call and ask to have a meeting with him to clear the air. We're not sure how that will be received. The PM is also a personal friend of Big Daddy, and they have always said business is business — one would not affect the other. But given some of the things the PM has done — or failed to do — in regard to certain situations, one would have to wonder can he truly keep them separate. Big Daddy hopes he can. I think not. I hope I'm wrong.

Big Daddy has a boat financed and he was talking about selling it to get out from under that payment. It and a signature loan I have are both financed at the company credit union. So I called to see what the balance was in each account, and on each loan. We also discussed options of possibly refinancing them. Then, we went to the bank and spoke with the VP about getting a second mortgage on the house: to pay off the first mortgage, and pay off the other two notes. That would free up some money, and changing the weekly deduction into the credit union will free up some more. The mortgage payment will only go up $60 a month which makes it very do-able.

Right now we wait for the app to be approved, then for the funding. Tomorrow he has to go in and start his "new" position. He said it's going to be more awkward for the person he works for than it will for him. I hope he's right. I hope he gets some sleep tonight. His mind should be a bit more at ease about the financial situation. I sure hope so. I hate to see Big Daddy worried.

Be it ever so annoying ...

there's no place like home.

Unfortunately, you always have to come back after a trip. There's the unpacking, going through the mail that came while you were gone, the stack of newspapers, and the same ol' same ol'.

Tuesday is my day to clean the kitchen: wipe down all the counters, the cabinet facings, and I even got up on the step stool to especially clean the ledge that goes halfway around the room [the kitchen and eating area are one room which is why it only goes around half]. It was really irksome to look out the kitchen window and see my paper at the end of the walk. It means the worker is too lazy [or inconsiderate] to pause a moment to snag it and bring it in. She was nearly 40 minutes late, too. I've asked her to call me when that happens. Oh — she forgot.

Mama was supposed to go at 1pm today for a study to see if she has dementia. Duh. I know she does, but I suppose it would be good to be an official diagnosis, and see if there is anything to treat it beyond what we are — which really is nothing. It was foggy and drizzling this morning, so I called to cancel it. Of course, it's now sunshiney and nice, though a bit windy. I think we are going to try and make it tomorrow, even if it starts out like it did today. I can use the time to do a few errands since she'll be there 'til 5ish. Maybe I'll call a friend and have lunch. Yeah, that sounds like a plan.

No respite for the weary....

It would seem an unfettered mini-vacation is impossible. 300 miles from home, my phone starts ringing. Sister has gone to check on Mama & she's having jerking fits and not very responsive. She's wondering does she need to go to the hospital. I told them to call one of the names on the emergency list: a nurse with the home care service who only lives a couple of miles away. She has said before to call her if we needed anything. She in turn gets in touch with the nurse on call — a lady who has been seeing Mama for years — and tells her she thinks Mama has had a massive stroke! Her pulse is 122, BP is 150/80 [Mama's is usually low] and her upper extremities are warm, the lower ones cold. [Her lower extremities generally are due to poor circulation from the MS.]

So we discuss what would they do for her in the hospital if she did have a stroke. 'Not much.' That is mostly due to her DNR. We could call & put her on hospice. We could wait & see how she is in the morning. I chose to wait & see how she was the next morning. That might sound harsh, but I've been through this with her before. The last time we went to the ER which resulted in an EEG and EKG among other things; then an announcement that she had a UTI, and released her to go home — at our expense. Medicare didn't pay for the last trip home due to the comments of a bi*** nurse in the ER who said she was well enough to travel in a wheelchair. Never mind that the woman was so weak she couldn't stay awake. And since she had been transported there via ambulance, we didn't have her personal wheelchair or scooter. There is no way she could sit as a passenger in any vehicle, let alone in the van! I've appealed Medicare's decision; we'll see what happens.

In the mean time, we've gone into the restaurant & were trying to eat dinner when NJ called. She thought Mama should go to the hospital. She didn't understand why I didn't agree with that. I told her I have been through this with her before, then gave her the 4-1-1 the nurse & I had discussed. She had a valid point when she said they could give her an IV; since she had not eaten or had anything to drink all day she could be dehydrated. But it would be ALL they would do, then send her home & we have the ambulance situation to deal with again. Plus, JL [Mama's brother] would have to go up there to make the medical decisions because he is the second on her medical power of attorney. "Well, then maybe we should ask him what he wants to do. I just don't want my Mama to die!" she cries.

I don't either, but Mama's wishes have to be respected and she doesn't want anything done to prolong her life. The social worker asked her when she came out to do the DNR if she was having a heart attack at home and the ambulance was called, would she want them to do anything to save her life? She said no. NJ wanted to know when she said that; was she in her right mind? Yes, she was; it was last year while Sister was still living there. "Oh" was her quiet reply. I told her to see how she was in the morning & we would go from there. Believe me — hearing what Mama's wishes were wasn't easy for me at the time, either, nor are they now.

At 8:30 this morning the nurse was calling to see if I knew how she was. Seems no one was answering the phone. I told her I would call her back, & called the house. "Mouse" [explained later somewhere] had a morning patient so Lazy [the other provider - I couldn't think of any snazzy name or initials for her lol] had come in until she got back. Lazy picked up the phone on the second ring. She recognized the number; I didn't go into details as to why she didn't answer the phone when someone else called. Lazy said Sister had gotten her to take her evening pills last night & drink an Ensure. Mouse said she had another one this morning when she checked on her at 7am, & she drank a whole glass of water as well. She was responsive & talking some. I asked her to tell Mouse the nurse would be out later to check on her.

I called the nurse back & asked could she wait until Mouse was back to go out there. Since she had been there last night through all this [and not having ever dealt with anything like this before] I felt it would put her more at ease to see her examine her herself. She was surprised when she got there that Mama was as responsive as she was. She asked her to tell Mouse who she was & she promptly said "Becky." She swore Mama had 500 lives!

I called a little later & talked with Mouse. She was finishing up her bath so we didn't talk long, but she filled me in on the details & about how much better she was. I sent Sister & NJ a text. They were very relieved that she was better. I bit my tongue to refrain from telling NJ 'I told you so.' It's just rather frustrating when I am the one here all the time, watching this happen more than once, and then several people question your decision. I realize they love & care for her too; but show me some respect & believe in me.

I spent the day relaxing around the room. I by-passed the movie because I went off & left the free ticket at home. I met my friend & her husband for dinner and hit Sonic for a drink on the way to the hotel. While Big Daddy was in the shower, I called the house & talked to Mama myself. You can tell she's tired, but I could understand the majority of what she said. So that's a very good sign.

Right now Big Daddy is in bed — snoring. He has conference again at 7am but they're done at noon. The plan is for me to have everything packed & meet him there at noon for the lunch they'll serve. We grab the bags at 1 & head over to the cheaper digs with plans to meet up with a friend of his later for dinner Saturday night. I just hope it goes off without a hitch. Right now I am going to kick back & watch some TV before getting some sleep. Ahhhh ... I wish I had this bed at home.

Woo-hoo!!

We're going out of town for a few days! We are leaving Thursday afternoon for Grapevine (around DFW), and coming back sometime Sunday. Big Daddy has a safety conference all day Friday and half a day Saturday. The company pays for the room and I tag along to just get away! We've not been anywhere since our anniversary last July so it's a real treat for me.

It's hard for us to get away for a few hours, let alone a few days. I have to make arrangements for someone to stay here with Mama. Oh, there are some short term care facilities, but I haven't really had time to check them out the way I want. So far, everything is set except I don't know which day BJ is going to cover — Saturday or Sunday.

But I do know I am going to have some fun while we're gone! I have a movie pass so I'll slip over to the mall and catch a flick Friday afternoon. I have a girlfriend who lives down there and we're going to get together for dinner that night. Saturday after the conference we'll probably rest for a bit. Big Daddy plays this war game online with people from across the country. One of the guys lives down in that area, and we might meet him and his wife for dinner. We're still waiting to hear from them about that.

But I am excited to just be planning to get away. I can imagine how ecstatic I am going to be once we are in the Merc and headed that way! Woo hoo!!!