It would seem an unfettered mini-vacation is impossible. 300 miles from home, my phone starts ringing. Sister has gone to check on Mama & she's having jerking fits and not very responsive. She's wondering does she need to go to the hospital. I told them to call one of the names on the emergency list: a nurse with the home care service who only lives a couple of miles away. She has said before to call her if we needed anything. She in turn gets in touch with the nurse on call — a lady who has been seeing Mama for years — and tells her she thinks Mama has had a massive stroke! Her pulse is 122, BP is 150/80 [Mama's is usually low] and her upper extremities are warm, the lower ones cold. [Her lower extremities generally are due to poor circulation from the MS.]
So we discuss what would they do for her in the hospital if she did have a stroke. 'Not much.' That is mostly due to her DNR. We could call & put her on hospice. We could wait & see how she is in the morning. I chose to wait & see how she was the next morning. That might sound harsh, but I've been through this with her before. The last time we went to the ER which resulted in an EEG and EKG among other things; then an announcement that she had a UTI, and released her to go home — at our expense. Medicare didn't pay for the last trip home due to the comments of a bi*** nurse in the ER who said she was well enough to travel in a wheelchair. Never mind that the woman was so weak she couldn't stay awake. And since she had been transported there via ambulance, we didn't have her personal wheelchair or scooter. There is no way she could sit as a passenger in any vehicle, let alone in the van! I've appealed Medicare's decision; we'll see what happens.
In the mean time, we've gone into the restaurant & were trying to eat dinner when NJ called. She thought Mama should go to the hospital. She didn't understand why I didn't agree with that. I told her I have been through this with her before, then gave her the 4-1-1 the nurse & I had discussed. She had a valid point when she said they could give her an IV; since she had not eaten or had anything to drink all day she could be dehydrated. But it would be ALL they would do, then send her home & we have the ambulance situation to deal with again. Plus, JL [Mama's brother] would have to go up there to make the medical decisions because he is the second on her medical power of attorney. "Well, then maybe we should ask him what he wants to do. I just don't want my Mama to die!" she cries.
I don't either, but Mama's wishes have to be respected and she doesn't want anything done to prolong her life. The social worker asked her when she came out to do the DNR if she was having a heart attack at home and the ambulance was called, would she want them to do anything to save her life? She said no. NJ wanted to know when she said that; was she in her right mind? Yes, she was; it was last year while Sister was still living there. "Oh" was her quiet reply. I told her to see how she was in the morning & we would go from there. Believe me — hearing what Mama's wishes were wasn't easy for me at the time, either, nor are they now.
At 8:30 this morning the nurse was calling to see if I knew how she was. Seems no one was answering the phone. I told her I would call her back, & called the house. "Mouse" [explained later somewhere] had a morning patient so Lazy [the other provider - I couldn't think of any snazzy name or initials for her lol] had come in until she got back. Lazy picked up the phone on the second ring. She recognized the number; I didn't go into details as to why she didn't answer the phone when someone else called. Lazy said Sister had gotten her to take her evening pills last night & drink an Ensure. Mouse said she had another one this morning when she checked on her at 7am, & she drank a whole glass of water as well. She was responsive & talking some. I asked her to tell Mouse the nurse would be out later to check on her.
I called the nurse back & asked could she wait until Mouse was back to go out there. Since she had been there last night through all this [and not having ever dealt with anything like this before] I felt it would put her more at ease to see her examine her herself. She was surprised when she got there that Mama was as responsive as she was. She asked her to tell Mouse who she was & she promptly said "Becky." She swore Mama had 500 lives!
I called a little later & talked with Mouse. She was finishing up her bath so we didn't talk long, but she filled me in on the details & about how much better she was. I sent Sister & NJ a text. They were very relieved that she was better. I bit my tongue to refrain from telling NJ 'I told you so.' It's just rather frustrating when I am the one here all the time, watching this happen more than once, and then several people question your decision. I realize they love & care for her too; but show me some respect & believe in me.
I spent the day relaxing around the room. I by-passed the movie because I went off & left the free ticket at home. I met my friend & her husband for dinner and hit Sonic for a drink on the way to the hotel. While Big Daddy was in the shower, I called the house & talked to Mama myself. You can tell she's tired, but I could understand the majority of what she said. So that's a very good sign.
Right now Big Daddy is in bed — snoring. He has conference again at 7am but they're done at noon. The plan is for me to have everything packed & meet him there at noon for the lunch they'll serve. We grab the bags at 1 & head over to the cheaper digs with plans to meet up with a friend of his later for dinner Saturday night. I just hope it goes off without a hitch. Right now I am going to kick back & watch some TV before getting some sleep. Ahhhh ... I wish I had this bed at home.
So we discuss what would they do for her in the hospital if she did have a stroke. 'Not much.' That is mostly due to her DNR. We could call & put her on hospice. We could wait & see how she is in the morning. I chose to wait & see how she was the next morning. That might sound harsh, but I've been through this with her before. The last time we went to the ER which resulted in an EEG and EKG among other things; then an announcement that she had a UTI, and released her to go home — at our expense. Medicare didn't pay for the last trip home due to the comments of a bi*** nurse in the ER who said she was well enough to travel in a wheelchair. Never mind that the woman was so weak she couldn't stay awake. And since she had been transported there via ambulance, we didn't have her personal wheelchair or scooter. There is no way she could sit as a passenger in any vehicle, let alone in the van! I've appealed Medicare's decision; we'll see what happens.
In the mean time, we've gone into the restaurant & were trying to eat dinner when NJ called. She thought Mama should go to the hospital. She didn't understand why I didn't agree with that. I told her I have been through this with her before, then gave her the 4-1-1 the nurse & I had discussed. She had a valid point when she said they could give her an IV; since she had not eaten or had anything to drink all day she could be dehydrated. But it would be ALL they would do, then send her home & we have the ambulance situation to deal with again. Plus, JL [Mama's brother] would have to go up there to make the medical decisions because he is the second on her medical power of attorney. "Well, then maybe we should ask him what he wants to do. I just don't want my Mama to die!" she cries.
I don't either, but Mama's wishes have to be respected and she doesn't want anything done to prolong her life. The social worker asked her when she came out to do the DNR if she was having a heart attack at home and the ambulance was called, would she want them to do anything to save her life? She said no. NJ wanted to know when she said that; was she in her right mind? Yes, she was; it was last year while Sister was still living there. "Oh" was her quiet reply. I told her to see how she was in the morning & we would go from there. Believe me — hearing what Mama's wishes were wasn't easy for me at the time, either, nor are they now.
At 8:30 this morning the nurse was calling to see if I knew how she was. Seems no one was answering the phone. I told her I would call her back, & called the house. "Mouse" [explained later somewhere] had a morning patient so Lazy [the other provider - I couldn't think of any snazzy name or initials for her lol] had come in until she got back. Lazy picked up the phone on the second ring. She recognized the number; I didn't go into details as to why she didn't answer the phone when someone else called. Lazy said Sister had gotten her to take her evening pills last night & drink an Ensure. Mouse said she had another one this morning when she checked on her at 7am, & she drank a whole glass of water as well. She was responsive & talking some. I asked her to tell Mouse the nurse would be out later to check on her.
I called the nurse back & asked could she wait until Mouse was back to go out there. Since she had been there last night through all this [and not having ever dealt with anything like this before] I felt it would put her more at ease to see her examine her herself. She was surprised when she got there that Mama was as responsive as she was. She asked her to tell Mouse who she was & she promptly said "Becky." She swore Mama had 500 lives!
I called a little later & talked with Mouse. She was finishing up her bath so we didn't talk long, but she filled me in on the details & about how much better she was. I sent Sister & NJ a text. They were very relieved that she was better. I bit my tongue to refrain from telling NJ 'I told you so.' It's just rather frustrating when I am the one here all the time, watching this happen more than once, and then several people question your decision. I realize they love & care for her too; but show me some respect & believe in me.
I spent the day relaxing around the room. I by-passed the movie because I went off & left the free ticket at home. I met my friend & her husband for dinner and hit Sonic for a drink on the way to the hotel. While Big Daddy was in the shower, I called the house & talked to Mama myself. You can tell she's tired, but I could understand the majority of what she said. So that's a very good sign.
Right now Big Daddy is in bed — snoring. He has conference again at 7am but they're done at noon. The plan is for me to have everything packed & meet him there at noon for the lunch they'll serve. We grab the bags at 1 & head over to the cheaper digs with plans to meet up with a friend of his later for dinner Saturday night. I just hope it goes off without a hitch. Right now I am going to kick back & watch some TV before getting some sleep. Ahhhh ... I wish I had this bed at home.
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